Learning & Development

Top ways parents can help boost their kids’ personality

Written by Archana Singh Nughaal
Published: September 12, 2022

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Currently working in Pinegrove School in Kasauli Hills, Archana Nughaal is an educationist with over 14 years of experience. Her certifications include Army Commander's Commendation, Management & Personality Development DSSC, Wellington and MBA from Utkal University.

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Close your eyes. Now, think about a few people who have impacted your senses and drew you to them. Can you pinpoint a couple of things that were responsible for this magnetic effect? We’re sure that traits such as agreeableness, warmth, the looks index, harmony of voice, and  ‘the vibe,’  as we call it colloquially, will be a few that will pop into your head. We can sum all these traits into one bracket under ‘personality.’

Personality is what makes a person unique, and is recognisable soon after birth. Our personalities begin to take shape from a very young age, precisely why understanding the importance of personality education is absolutely necessary. Let us first understand what the term exactly means.

What Is Personality Development?

Personality Development is nothing but an enchanting journey of self-discovery. It is the development of an organised pattern of behaviour and attitude that makes a person unique. As a parent, you need to understand the three attributes that play a crucial role in the development of your child’s personality.

Firstly, the child’s temperament, which is basically a set of inherent traits that determine how they would react to a situation. Next, the adaptive traits help nurture their personality. And thirdly, the environmental factors which shape the way they think, feel and behave. 

Parenting plays a crucial role in the development of a child’s overall personality. Parents that can adapt their parenting to the temperamental, adaptive traits and environmental factors can help and ensure successful personality development in kids.

Why Is It Crucial To Develop The Child’s Personality From An Early Age?

Your child’s potential is multifaceted and investing in their personality development will enable you to harness their strengths and become a charismatic person. Though it continues to develop through adolescence, a strong foundation has to be laid during the formative years. Only then will the child’s personality influence how they treat themselves and those around them. Apart from academics, personality development is what nurtures the child in a holistic way. It helps them shape their inner being and develop as confident human beings in society. A well-carved personality will inculcate the following noble virtues as they grow up.

Boosts Self-Confidence – Knowing the right thing to say and how to conduct oneself can go a long way in scaling up the child’s confidence. Plus, it also helps in controlling unwanted anxieties and fears. 

Enhances Focus – The more confident the kid is, the better his attitude towards anything and everything. This, in turn, helps in training their brains to focus on important aspects of life as a whole and not just academics.

Improves Communication Skills – A crucial attribute towards building a good personality is effective communication skills. A good speech can strengthen the impact of the message being delivered by the child. 

Leadership Skills – A strong personality will always be admired and looked up to and followed, among peers and others.

Enables discovery of inner strengths and weaknesses – Builds their will power, and self-discipline & guides them towards accomplishment and achievement.

Transforms weakness into strengths – It begins with recognising and accepting their weakness and slowly, yet relentlessly, working on them and eventually converting them into strengths.

Inculcates positive habits – Positive attributes such as punctuality, adaptability, openness to learning, and kind disposition are instilled through personality development in kids.

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Ways To Develop Your Kids’ Personality

As a child grows mentally and physically, a confident personality prepares them to overcome many challenges. Let’s look at some of the practices that can help your child’s personality development: 

  • Every kid is unique. Building a child’s self-esteem cannot happen overnight but requires consistent appreciation for their good qualities and accomplishments. Avoid correcting them all the time as it may do more harm than good, by destroying their self-confidence and lowering their self-esteem.
  • Avoid labelling them as tough, emotional, sensitive, shy, and so on. Children are very vulnerable and can take everything at face value. When parents address them using negative words like lazy, careless, and insensitive, they may start believing them thus leaving little room for improvement. Use positive words instead and tread with patience while correcting their behaviour.
  • Be a good role model. Children absorb and adapt things from their immediate surroundings. So, as a parent, if you want your kid to have good traits, be sure to display positive and just behaviour towards the kids and everyone else. Seeing you behave in a positive way will certainly have a huge impact on their minds.
  • Help them develop their thinking ability. A thinking mind is capable of greater things. It can be pivotal in shaping their personality. A love of learning can motivate them to take initiatives on their own. They should be encouraged to ask questions and explore issues from different perspectives. 
  • Teach them time management skills. Critical thinking helps one prioritise tasks. It ensures that your child will complete activities in a timely manner and learn to manage as well as stick to a schedule. 
  • Encourage them to step out of their comfort zone. Challenge them to do things that they are not familiar with. While some rush boldly ahead, some hide behind excuses. A little push and encouragement is a great place to begin. Start small or break down the new situation into manageable pieces.
  • Be sensitive about their shortcomings. Don’t expect your kid to excel at everything. If they fail at something, do not accuse them of incompetence. On the contrary, assist them to work on their shortfalls without lowering their self-confidence.
  • Do a SWOT analysis every once in a while. Sit down with them and discuss their strengths and weaknesses and resolve to find solutions as a team. Let them be a part of decision-making as well.
  • Find out about their aspirations. Ask them who their role model is. Whatever be their choice, do not mock them. Delve deep and figure out the reason behind their aspiration. It could range from a superhero to the pet shop owner to the next-door neighbour. Be prepared to be surprised.
  • Inculcate a positive attitude. This practice should begin from an early age. Teaching them to be optimistic helps in dealing with stress and overcoming challenges, making it an essential life skill.
  • Improve your child’s social skills. Enjoying something will come more naturally to your child when they are genuinely interested and thus involved in it — whether a favourite sport, playing a musical instrument or being part of a club. It is the first step toward building social skills. Remember, social skills can’t be taught overnight but are developed and improved upon over a lifetime. 
  • Encourage reading habits from an early age. There is no friend as insightful as a book. To grow wiser, kids should make it a habit to read on a daily basis. Reading can help them learn new words and drastically improve their vocabulary, making their spoken language fluent. It also helps in arranging thoughts and expressing oneself better.
  • Refine their body language. As they say, you never get a second chance to make the first impression. Emphasise on building a confident posture. Not just for health benefits but also to boost self-confidence. 
  • Etiquette is pivotal. When young children learn appropriate, polite and considerate behaviour, they tend to form good manners and become more socially attentive as they get older. It’s easier to nurture first-class child behaviour if you work as a family to set the rules for good manners in many different situations. In fact, it should come across as a second nature, rather than adopting it on a temporary basis. 
  • Engage them in an intelligent conversation. Whether it is with the entire family or on a one-on-one basis, involve them to partake in healthy and intelligent discussions. Children seek attention as they learn new things every day, and are eager to share it with others. Be willing to listen to their ideas without cutting them off midway.
  • Encourage independent decision-making. Allow children to function as well as take decisions independently. This may help them develop a sense of responsibility, but make sure they are also made aware of the consequences they will have to face based on their decisions. It is a good way to foster self-reliance, making them feel like they have control over their life. 

All said and done, developing your kid’s personality is an ongoing process that is shaped by numerous factors. Try and avoid attempting to shape children into becoming a particular kind of person. Instead, create a loving and supportive environment for them to grow and evolve. As a parent, you must acknowledge that every child is different, each with their own individual qualities and strengths.

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The views expressed are that of the expert alone.

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