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Teenagers are the most misunderstood batch of kids, and for good reason. The entire world is ready to judge them for every decision they make, as they are ‘finally growing up’. While their parents say no to every independent choice they make. The irony lies in the fact that everybody wishes for teenagers to grow up and remain innocent kids at the same time, while they are reprimanded and ridiculed for trying to be either.
As for school, social cliques are forming, along with mean judgements towards anyone ahead or behind in puberty. In such a confusing and scary time, teenagers feel very lonely and vulnerable, lashing out at every opportunity like a cornered cat. And while they make mistakes, they are ready to learn all they can about growing up to not feel foolish or backward. In such a sensitive period of change, it is important for parents to be tactical and calm.
But the hectic demands of the 21st century lets few parents keep their wits about, much less some spare patience. This results in the formation of anger issues in teens, varying in intensity, but equally hurtful and damaging for family bonds. It is ideal to address these issues as early as possible in the teenage years, to avoid formation of personality disorders and severe anger issues in adulthood. Here are some top tips to manage anger issues in your teenagers.
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Top Tips For Managing Anger Issues In Teenagers
1. Understand Their Perspective
It is important for parents to understand their teens’ perspective and empathize with them. You will end up socially and mentally isolating your kid if you restrict every friendly outing, outfit, and decision. Their lives are not always about education, and you need to accept it. Maintain a balance between education and amusement and try to put yourself in their shoes before making a decision.
2. Maintain A Safe Space
You must ensure you maintain a safe space for your kids to reveal their secrets or mistakes without you judging and critiquing them for it. Help them solve the problem and have a calm but serious conversation about it later. But do not try to lecture your distraught teens when they are under stress, it will backfire upon you. If they feel they can come to you with anything, they will be less likely to make mistakes too, as you will be able to guide them beforehand.
3. Be Consistent With Consequences
When maintaining discipline, do not be whimsical. If your teen is grounded for a week, they cannot go to a birthday party two days later. You need to be careful while doling out punishment too, as incorrect timing can create a new set of resentment. Unless your kid has done something bad, avoid such punishments. But maintain consistency, whether it is taking their phone away for a day, or making them do household chores for a week.
4. Take Timeouts
It is ideal to take timeouts from controversial topics when the conversation gets too heated as both parties may end up saying things they do not mean. Communicate calmly that both parties can take, say fifteen minutes, to fume away in a different place and calm down, before resuming the conversation. Huge fights and bad decisions can be avoided by incorporating this tip in your teen’s life.
5. Teach Anger Management
Teach them healthy anger management. Engage your rebellious teens in some creative and sporty classes to get their nervous energy burned and anchor them. Show them the benefits of journaling or painting or doing gardening when angry, as these activities help them self-reflect on actions and words, while their anger ebbs away silently. Healthy anger management, be it by writing a letter to express oneself to parents, or going for a run, is highly beneficial for teens overall.
6. Encourage Self-Care
Many adults lack the ability to care properly for themselves as they have not inculcated the habit while growing up. It is important to teach your teens the benefits and necessity of eating nutritiously, exercising regularly, sleeping well, and engaging in hobbies. Also teach your teenage boys and girls the basic necessities of running a house, like cooking, washing dishes, doing laundry, cleaning the house and so on. These activities may initially seem futile, but often has a therapeutic effect on a fuming teen who unwinds while folding freshly washed laundry alone.
7. Peek Beneath The Surface
Often, teenagers lash out and throw a fit when they are internally anxious or stressed about something. It is crucial for parents to peek beneath the surface of their resentment and anger, to reach the crux of the matter and resolve it. Since many teenagers are still learning the act of self-restraint and expression, it is up to parents to help them figure it out and develop a calm approach to solving problems in them.
Conclusion
There is no shortcut to managing anger issues, that too in teenagers. But the matter becomes easier when parents maintain a patient and positive outlook, despite life’s circumstances. Teenagers look up to their parents a lot, identifying and learning behaviors they wish to imbibe, so it is important for parents to be role models for them in these crucial years. Try these top tips to manage anger issues in your teens and watch them bloom and thrive in life.
The views expressed are that of the expert alone.
